As I massaged the lotion into my baby's sweet skin, I had a moment of intense emotion, beginning with grief that he's had to endure pain; moving to pride in his resilience; sadness that more scars will mark his body; finally gratitude that medical science has allowed my son to live fully.
Over the next couple of days, when I thought about those scars, I was surprised to find I was thankful for them.
God told Moses (if you haven't already guessed from recent posts, I'll admit I'm a proud member of the Moses fan club—what a guy!) that when the Israelites entered the Promised Land, they were to write God's Law on large, plaster-covered stones. God knew it about the Israelites, and He knows it about us — WE FORGET! It seems impossible that the Israelites could forget walking through a parted sea, or watching water pour out of a dry desert rock.
But like the Israelites, I too am forgetful, which leads me back to why I'm thankful for Luke's scars. I'm thankful that there are visual reminders of God's work. I'm thankful that these scars never let me forget that God promises to cause "all things to work together for good to those who love Him."
My hope for Luke is that he wears these scars proudly. My hope is that when he looks at his scars, he remembers that God has created him with a unique purpose. My hope is that his "superman scars" open doors for him to share his story, to bring awareness to this disease, and to bring glory to God.
I had one of those "mom moments" last week as I was very unthankful for Natalie's CHD. It's all a process and the emotions just seem to pop up. Thanks for reminding me about the heritage markers that God told the Isrealites to put up. Yes, I have thought about Natalie's scars as being like them before, but needed a reminder to be thankful AND to remember where He has brought us from. God is good!
ReplyDeleteI'll try to write soon. I've been busy and a little preoccupied.
Angie
Beautifully put! I was just examining Owen's scars the other day as well and thought "what a great post idea". Ha, great minds think alike!
ReplyDeleteI too am grateful for each and every scar for they are the scars that have saved his life. God has also healed those scars himself and I love that! I can't wait to sit with Owen when he's older and talk about the brave boy he is to endure so much, and how much God loves him.
Oh, the confetti scars are from the teeny tiny pacer wires. Owen has lots of those too! :)
Andrea
Jesse,
ReplyDeleteThis post touched me so much...you really have a great way of putting things and adding in God's unconditional love for us into it as well. I too, love Maddie's scars and hope that she will someday appreciate them as well. They are well-earned, aren't they!?! A symbol of so much...strength, hope, sacrifice. God has truly chosen very special children to endure this and wear these scars. Hugs to you!!!
Wow, super awesomely well said! It's so true...their scars are good reminders for us to not forget what happened.
ReplyDeleteI read a blog a long time ago where the mother had a professional photographer "remove" her daughters scars from their family photos. I remember gasping out loud, NOOo! Why would you do that? Maybe it's just me (and you), but my little boy's scars have a lot of meaning.
Every once in a while I will see all the little tiny scars on Elijah's neck and think about all the good God has put in our lives.
Thank you for this post!! xo