Cardiology appointment

God, the one and only —

I'll wait as long as he says.

Everything I hope for comes from him,

so why not?

He's solid rock under my feet,

breathing room for my soul,

An impregnable castle:

I'm set for life.

— Psalm 62:5, The Message

I tried so hard to keep the possibility in my brain that the Fontan might be pushed to the summer after next. I really did. But when Dr. Stefanelli said those words today, I was jarred. My thoughts went something like this: "But I don't want to wait another year. I want to be done with this stage." Thankfully, God immediately pointed out that this entire journey is not about me. (Did you notice how many "I's" were in that thought sequence? Yeah, me too). Based on my initial reaction, you'd think it was me undergoing open-heart surgery!

Dr. Stefanelli feels that with how well Luke is tolerating his current physiology coupled with the fact that he won't be quite 15 kilo's by this summer, he can't warrant pushing Dr. Cohen to do the Fontan on the earlier side. If Luke was showing him any signs of needing help with his heart function it would be a different story, but he's just not. His echo was fantastic, his sats are exactly where he'd like them at 86-87%, blood pressure normal, not to mention that he's growing and thriving and energetic.

But just because I can see the rationale for the new timing doesn't mean it's easy to swallow. We're going to have to sit with this one for a few days because at this moment I'm not even sure how to make that shift in my head and heart.

In the meantime I will do the following: Enjoy my son, give thanks for his health, and "wait as long as He says" because "Everything I hope for comes from Him."