Friday, September 4, 2009

Small beans

I spent the first half of today discouraged. After another failed attempt to leave Luke in the gym nursery, I was feeling frustrated that this is not something he can do yet and ill-equipped to help him jump this hurdle. I don't know exactly why this hit me hard today. Maybe it's because I want him to be comfortable in many social settings, to be secure in new environments. More, I think it highlights for me the fact that we weren't able to do some of the more "normal" things with Luke — like putting him in the church or gym nursery — in his early life.

The first half of the day I wrestled with whether to continue to push Luke in this area with the cold and flu season approaching, and fought thoughts that he is missing important socialization skills.

Then I logged onto my computer and checked on some blog friends.

Mason's family has just learned that because of stenotic left pulmonary veins, he is not a candidate for a necessary heart transplant.

Moriah's mom and dad, after 10 months in the hospital with their daughter, were looking forward to going home next week. Now Moriah has yet another infection, this time pneumonia.

My little pity party suddenly didn't seem so inviting. So I'm leaving that party and heading home to the two-year-old miracle waiting for me there.


  1. A great post - beautifully written! These little sweet hearts just change our perspective completely, dont they?

  2. I'm sure Luke is perfect! Kamryn NEVER let me leave her anywhere. I embraced the fact that she was a Mommy's girl and invited friends to our home or we went on playdates. Owen, on the other hand, would say "bu,bye" and butt scoot away to play with any random stranger, and he's been through SO much! All kids are different. Luke just likes the security of the familiar.

    After reading Mason's blog this week, my heart just achs for Mark and Summer. We had been talking about transplant the last few weeks and now this.

    And then bless Moriah's heart. I wish I knew of them BEFORE we went to Stanford in May. They recognized us at the Ronald McDonald House when we were touring around campus. It wasn't until we got back that she emailed me. What a great family, with a HUGE amount of strength!!

    I am so happy that Luke is doing so great!!!

  3. NEVER go to pity parties! At pity parties, the refreshments are terrible and they never play good music! It just isn't worth it! :)

  4. I have had pity parties alot lately and all it takes is logging on to some other blog to snap me out of it! We are so blessed to have our babies, even if they have broken hearts :)

  5. Oh Jesse, I empathize with the roller coaster of emotions you just described. It is so easy for me to get caught up in what Elijah has lacked in his life and what he needs to catch up on, etc. just in time to be reminded that he is alive and well. It's normal to have the worries that come along with our special little guys' lives, so try not to beat yourself up for having them. YES, we are lucky to have our boys with us and to have them doing as well as they are, but the struggles we have are still real and valid.

    I could chat with you forever about social struggles/sickness fears because these are things that weigh on my mind often. It seems like you always write about what is currently on my heart.

    Have a great week! Give hugs to that sweet little boy for me. xo